


Believe in us

by Allthroughsummer33



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Lesbian, Multi, My First AO3 Post, Other, Relationship(s), Sex, Smut, Swan Queen - Freeform, plot a lot of plot, swan mills - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-01 13:15:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15143876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allthroughsummer33/pseuds/Allthroughsummer33
Summary: Tiny bit of controlling CS and a bit of OQ mentioned but the rest i promise you is Swan Queen.  Set in season 5 after Robin dies. after that its all AU tbf.





	1. The Pain

**Author's Note:**

> NSFW (kind of) at the beginning, its not that bad though.

Both shed of their clothing, Emma slowly pushed herself toward her love until their hips touched, and they stood in an embrace where their bodies moulded together as one against the grey walls in the darkened bedroom. “Emma. I love you. And this is nice. But Please hurry up we don’t have long” the brunette whined with need.

The Blonde didn’t need to be told twice. She knew the urgency.  She knew why.

Lips pressed together in an urgent kiss, she lifted the brunette in her arms and carried her to the kingsized bed and placed her down on to the satin sheets. Their tongues entwined and their lips never apart.

The brunettes hips started to push in to the blondes. Seeking more. More than just a kiss.

“Emma”

She slowly kissed her way from her lovers lips to her jaw, then to her throat.

She kissed a path down,taking time to attend to the two glorious orbs and the hard nipples.

The brunette arched into her mouth and moaned. A moan so deep it was almost a growl. A moan so full of need and want that it made emmas mouth water and her eyes shut as her own desire intensified and she felt it pool to her centre.

  
“Emma. EMMA.”

Her eyes snapped open.

And suddenly Her Regina was gone and replaced with her mother.

It wasn’t real.

None of its real.

Regina doesn’t love her.

The only version of regina that loves her is the one that visits her dreams everynight. And although the dreams are incredible, the guilt that comes with them- is not something she can shake off. 

Its 7 30. Why in gods name did Snow bloody White need to wake up her daughter at 7 30 on a SATURDAY.

I’m a full grown woman and my mom STILL insists on waking me up and interrupting the only time I get with the Regina that lives in my head. I cannot wait to be back in my  house she thought to herself.

It was nice and everything for her parents to welcome her home after the break up with he who must not be named, and the incident that occurred.  it wasn’t, however,  so nice to be woken like a highschooler every day by her mother. She knew why she did it. It was because she was trying to make it all better. Bond with her again. Try to mother her.

She was trying to fix things. But Emma didn’t NEED her mom to fix it. Especially when There wasn’t anything to really fix between them.

Snow  had already done what emma had asked. To stop trying to force Emma into the happy ending that SHE wanted for her. before that She had already pushed her into being with hook, encouraged her to go to hell to bring him back, brain washed her into thinking that he was her one true love.

And then looked what happened.

They went to hell.

Literally.

He didn’t come back at first, which was actually a relief because she suddenly realised she DIDN’T love him.

They came home, and Robin died. Regina lost her happy ending because of her.

Then when hook DID come back, she was trapped. She was backed in to a corner. She couldn’t tell him she didn’t love him now. Not when she literally went through hell to find him. For a while they were fine but she realised more and more how toxic he was and how trapped and unhappy he made her feel.

she didn’t do anything about it.

How could she when the guilt of being part of the reason Robins -Regina’s soul mate- death was still heavy on her chest, and her parents were so happy to think she had her happy ending. She didn’t want to make anyone else unhappy. So she did what a saviour does. Sacrificed herself for them. She avoided Regina like the plague. Their son noticed and made numerous attempts to get her to talk to his mom. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t look regina in the eye because she didn’t want her to know that Robin died for nothing.  He died because they went to hell, to bring back some one who wasn’t even her true love. Henry was her world but even he couldn’t know how unhappy she was. So she slowly pulled away from everyone. She became a shadow of the Emma swan everyone knew. She hid herself away. Until the day she boarded the Jolly Roger to find Killian Jones in bed with another woman. He laughed in her face. Told her she couldn’t be angry or leave him. That she was nothing without him. That he knew who she REALLY loved but it was never going to happen. The saviour was not loved by the Evil Queen.  
  
To this moment she doesn’t know how she found the strength  but she somehow did.

She found the strength to leave him.

She freed herself.

She spent hours in Grannys pouring her heart out to Ruby and then later that night she got the call.

Her home was on fire.

Luckily most of her stuff was fine.

And no one was hurt.

But he set fire to her house - a place she could be herself, a place she and her son had layed some roots. And he set fire to it. He made a statement. She was damaged goods. She was toxic.  the fire within would never be put out.

he sailed off in to the sunset.

Good riddance.

Weeks passed and things although difficult, were worked through with her family.

She became Emma Swan again.

But there was one person she still avoided. One person she couldn’t face. The woman she loved without doubt.

Regina wasn’t just the woman she loved.

She was the mayor. Not an easy woman to avoid. But running away was something Emma had always been good at. Her parents were good at finding things (namely, each other) but emma ? Emma was good at fucking things up and running away.

Regina wasnt just the mayor. she was more important than that to emma.  she was her bestfriend and they had a son together.

She missed her. But the pain she felt in missing her and loving her from afar was nothing compared to the pain of being in the same room as her. knowing they can never be together because Regina doesn’t feel the same  as she does. and the pain was multiplied by the guilt she felt every time she thought about her, and the fact that her soul  mate, her happy ending died because of her,died because of a trip they took to find the man she believed or rather fooled herself into believing was her true love.

Hook was never her Happy Ending. She couldn’t have her happy ending. Because it wasn’t true love. It was only her that loved her Regina. Regina didn’t love her back. And it crushed her.

“EMMA” and she groaned as the voice and  footsteps on the stairs growing louder and she knew that any minute now her mother would appear in the door way.

 5….4….3……2……1

“Emma. You have a visitor” Right on cue.

“tell them to go fuck themselves”

“I hope you dont use that language around our son Miss Swan." 

“REGINA?!”  Emma shouted jumping out of bed and hurriedly throwing on some clothes. God that woman had timing issues.

“I’ll leave you both to it. I have to take Neal to his rhyme time session”

“yes well, thank you for escorting me up the very long flight of stairs so I didn’t get lost Enjoy your… _rhyme time_ dear _”_ the brunette said with a quirked eyebrow.

Her mother left and for the first time in a very long time they were completely alone. In Emma's bedroom of all places.

As soon as they were alone. Silence fell. And suddenly the tension rose and Regina’s confident persona melted away and she stood awkwardly against the wall wringing her hands in front of her, staring at the floor.

“Emma” “Regina listen” they both said at the same time.

“no you first” again in unison.

 “you’ve been avoiding me. Did i… Did I do something? I erm I'm sorry if I did” The brunette asked still staring at the floor.

“ Regina no, I mean yes but no listen I erm, I just”

 “ I shouldn’t have come here like this. I put you on the spot. I’m sorry I should go” she said with a sigh.

“Regina please don’t apologise . Look  can we get out of here and talk ? theres a lot I need to explain and I need it to be somewhere that if you shoot a fireball at me it wont burn my parents house down”

“I’m not hook. I don’t make a habit of turning homes in to fire pits” and her eyes immediately  widen with regret as emma flinches.

“I didn’t mean that im sorry emma I’m just… well im nervous”

Nervous. Emma makes regina nervous?! That’s something emma never thought she would hear.

“nervous?”

“I just… lets just go and talk? We need to talk about some important things”And with that purple smoke carried them to the bench on the dock.

 

It was Their bench. The bench they sat and had many a conversation- just the two of them over the years. It was the bench that Emma came to every morning before work to cry and scream and shout because she was in agony. Agony over the whole thing.

They sat in silence. Until Finally Regina looked out in to the water, and asked her in a way that was almost a plead, to talk to her.

Moments passed. And finally Emma found the courage.

“Promise me you’ll let me explain it all before walking away or tearing my heart out or shooting fireballs?”

“Emma?”

“Promise me”

“ok. I promise”

“ok.  Yes. I was avoiding you. I’m sorry. But I couldn’t bear to be around you”

She pauses as Regina winces and her eyes widen. She reaches out unable to stop herself. And she takes reginas hand.

“not because of anything you’ve done.  It was because of me.” she reassures her.

She cant help but pause again and smile briefly at the way Reginas hand tightens around hers and her head tilts in confusion at emmas words.

“Its agony regina. I took on the dark ones powers to give you your happy ending. And then when everything happened, I was the reason your happy ending was taken away. And it was all for nothing”

“Emma. No its not…”

“no please don’t Regina. Let me finish. I feel so guilty.  hook was never my true love. I realise now that I only wanted him because I couldn’t have the one I do truly love. I was with him because it was easy. Then I fooled myself in to thinking over time it had become true love afterall. But it wasn’t. and hes gone- which is a good thing. And im happier. I feel like me again. But the guilt. Regina. I avoided you because the pain of knowing I took away your chance at happiness. It was too much. And the one time I tried to speak to you, after the funeral, you couldn’t bear to be talking to me. So I assumed you hated me as much as I hated myself. Which just made the pain worse. So It was easier to avoid all of  it. So you see it wasn’t anything you did.  It was because of me. Im sorry. Because as your bestfriend I should’ve been there for you I should’ve been by yourside, but I couldn’t.”

Moments passed.

And the silence was overwhelming.

Emma tried to stand up, to run like she always did.

But regina, still holding emmas hand, pulled her back down and croaked out a sentence that made the blondes heart break in to a million pieces “please don’t leave me again”...


	2. It's you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments guys.
> 
> theres a LOT to come.

A long length of time passes and neither of  them said a word. Instead they sat holding each others hand, with reginas head on her shoulder until the rain started to fall, and Emmas phone started to ring.

C’est la vie plays startling them both.

Emma completely confused hurriedly checks the display. “the little shit”. And answers it with a “YOU SNEAKY LITTLE SHIT WHEN DID YOU CHANGE THE RINGER?”

And suddenly Regina erupts in to laughter, recognising the reply and realising the “little shit” is their son.

“yeah that’s your mom you can hear. Why? Oh. Ok. Hang on.”

She passes the phone to regina. “Henry. Yes. Ok. No Not yet. I know. Yes. No. I’ll ask. Leave that to me though ok? Ok. We  love you too. bye”

_We_ love you too. Emma couldn’t help but smile at that.

She passes the phone back to Emma.

“Emma. We need to go home. Our son wishes to have lunch with us. I know we have more to discuss. I mean I still need to talk to you. And I have some questions. But duty calls.” And she stands hand outstretched to emma.

Home. We need to go home. The words swim around her head. And she stares at the hand outstretched. No emma. Don’t read too much into it. It will hurt too much. Just take this as it comes.

  
Lunch was incredible. They sat as a family. The three of them comfortable in each other’s company.

The conversation washed over Emma’s head as she was focused on the hand stroking hers under the table. Looking at regina she couldn’t help but wonder what was going on.  Was this being best friends? Was this more?

Henry kept talking to his mother with his eyes. And although she was focused on the hand, it didn’t go completely unnoticed by Emma.

“kid what am I missing”

“I’m going to see grandpa and grandma. Because mom HAS to talk to you and show you something. DON’T you mom. Because if you don’t…”

“Henry” regina warned with narrowed eyes.

“See ya”

“Kid!”

And with that he was gone.

Silence.

 again.

Something that seemed to be a common theme with the two of them today.

“regina, what the Hell is going on?”

 “he’s right we do need to talk.” Regina said standing up, letting going of emmas hand and wringing her own yet again and left the room.

Emma followed her in to the den and took a seat. Watching the brunette pace up and down in front of her.

“Regina. I…”

The brunette stopped. And folded her arms protectively on her chest.

“Emma. You had your chance to talk earlier. This is mine. And I promised you I wouldn’t throw a fireball. I need YOU to promise me something”

“anything.” The blonde replied solemnly.

“Promise me you won’t run. And that you’ll listen to everything I have to say”.

A million things ran through Emmas head in that moment.  Is regina sick? Is there something bad happening? Why would i run?! Unless. No emma don’t over think things again.

“I promise you.”

The brunette visibly swallowed. And sat next to the blonde.

“Emma. The day you tried to speak to me after Robin died, it wasn’t that I hated you. I hated myself. I hated myself because I didn’t love robin. And I hated myself because he died and sacrified himself for me, but I didn’t deserve it, because I didn’t love him. Not truly. I only loved the idea of him. I hated  the thought of dying alone of growing old with no one beside me. And I had it in my head about that damn pixie dust. And his lion tattoo. I was caught up in the moment. I Realised in underworld, my father forgiving me lifted me of so much that it was a moment of clarity. I suddenly realised what I wanted. And who I loved. And it wasn’t Robin Hood. My plan was when we got home, I would break up with him. But then he died. He died saving me, the women he thought loved him. And I love someone else. Not him. I couldn’t look at you because I thought you’d figure it out, and I didn’t want you to think bad of me…” She paused and took in a deep breath.

“regina i…” emma interrupted.

“please emma let me finish. In the time that followed, you pushed me away. So I thought you DID figure it out at first. And that you hated me for it. But henry and you parents came to me when you pushed them all away. I knew something was wrong. But I didn’t know how to help. Because I thought I was the one who broke you.  when it came to light about hook,I felt relieved so relieved that you were no longer trapped in the toxicity but angry. Angry at him for hurting you. angry at you for pushing me out. But mainly angry at myself for this whole situation… then henrys book appeared in my room one night. The pages fluttered as if there was some breeze that only it could feel, and out flew were two loose pages. They were sent by robin. I don’t know how but it was. It was a message.”

She gave emma  one of the two folded pages in reginas hands.

It  was a picture of a letter addressed to regina. With the words “and robin hoods business was complete. He understood and he had no regrets. With that he could go on” underneath.

_Regina, I know. I know the truth. All of it. And its ok. I do not regret a single thing that happened. And I would do it all in a heart beat. But its time for you to forgive yourself. Tell them the truth you owe it to yourself, and to them. Robin._

“I don’t understand” emma stated, looking at regina and noticing the faint smile on her lips and the watery eyes soften.

“Emma. There's a reason I was nervous earlier in front of you. And a reason I couldn’t bear the thought of you leaving me again. Its because its you…” she sighed.


	3. Ready to be Brave.

“its me…?” emma being the idiot she is was still in a state of confusion at the brunettes words.

“Its you. Its you that I love. Its you that understands me better than anyone. That can read me, read my soul. You that holds my heart. From the moment we met- I felt it. The pull. The tether that joins our heart. And every single moment that pull gets stronger. Its you. Its always you and its always going to be you I Love You Emma Swan. And im sorry if I’ve just read the whole situation wrongand  you don’t feel the  …”

But before Regina could continue Emma reached forward and put a single finger against her lips to silence her.

“hold on a second. You love me. All this time you love me too.”

"Yes thats what... love me too... so you do love me?  ”

“Regina I’ve loved you from the beginning. But running and fucking things up is what I’m good at. And I didn’t want to ruin it. I wanted you to have your happy ending. Because you deserve it more than anyone. I wasn’t brave enough before.  But I am now, if you are. God If I knew you loved me too I wouldn’t have wasted so much…..”  


And with that Regina lunged forward taking emmas lips with her own, pulling each other close.

Moments passed and they parted for air, leaning aginast each others foreheads both out of breath and laughing softly to themselves.

“Regina Mills. I love you....Will you be my girlfriend…?”

“Emma Swan. I love you too. And yes I will. Idiot”

And with that they made up for lost time…

 **************************** 

Hours later, laying next to each other on Reginas satin lined bed,  emma suddenly remembered.

“Regina.”

“hmmmm?”

“what was the other page?”

And there was suddenly a puff of purple and a piece of folded paper lay in emmas hands.

A picture of emma and regina, in an embrace with “the girl with the Ville de Lyon tattoo found her Reason to be brave”. 

 

She had so many questions. So many things to talk about. so many plans in her head, so many things she wanted them to have and do in their future. 

But that could wait for tonight. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry- short chapter and i know the whole thing is without smut so far. smut is to come though. Working on it!


End file.
